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Caregiver News - Summer, 2005
Legislative Update On May 10th, 2005 Senators Clinton (D-NY) and Snowe (R-ME) and co-sponsors Cochran (R-MS) and Johnson (D-SD) re-introduced the Kinship Caregiver Support Act, which would assist the millions of children being raised by grandparents or other relatives. According to the 2000 U.S. Census there are more than 4.5 million children living in grandparent-headed households and another 1.5 million living in households headed by other relatives. In Minnesota , there are over 48,000 children living in homes headed by grandparents, an astonishing 100% + increase over the past ten years. This act is a positive legislative response to the large and ever growing number of children in the US who find themselves in this category. The act will help caregivers raising children both in and out of the child welfare system by providing them with necessary support and services that would otherwise be unavailable. The Kinship Caregiver Support Act contains four key objectives: first, creation of a Kinship Navigator Program, an initiative to create hotlines to provide information and assistance on local resources; secondly, a Kinship Guardianship Program, where states would be able to use foster care funding for permanent placement with kin for children in foster care; thirdly, the act would ensure relatives are informed when children enter foster care; and lastly, the act allows states to have separate licensing requirements for kin and non-kin foster parents, so long as the welfare and safety of these children remain a priority.
By increasing awareness about the issue and providing much needed support to care-giving families nationwide, the Kinship Caregiver Support Act represents a monumental step forward in the area of care-giving.
Caregivers are encouraged to contact local Congressmen and to educate them on the needs of caregivers while expressing how helpful the act will be. Reach your senators and representatives by calling the Capitol at 202-224-3121 or visit www.congress.org to identify your members of Congress. Farewell The Minnesota Kinship Caregivers Association Board of Directors wishes to thank Lynn Weir for her commitment to MKCA and the kinship families of Minnesota during her time as MKCA's Executive Director. We wish her well in all her future endeavors. Sharon Durken has been appointed as Interim Executive Director. It's Not Your Fault Many children come into kinship care due to parental substance abuse. When this happens, kinship caregivers take on a heavy burden in raising relatives' children, and they deserve all the help and support they can get. Oftentimes, caregivers may feel like their own bad choices made their children take the wrong path. These feelings are normal, but the fact is, the substance abuse is not your fault.
The following “Three C's of Substance Abuse” is provided by the Phoenix House Children of Alcoholics Foundation.
1. YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT – Addiction is the result of a series of bad choices and people make their own choice when they try alcohol or drugs. While they may not be able to stop once they are addicted, they usually can control their choices before that point. It is not your fault, even if the substance abuser had an unhappy childhood, or a parent used drugs. A lot of people who had difficult childhoods do not use alcohol or drugs. Let go of your guilt. You cannot change the past, but you can focus on the future. Know that at the time, you did the best you could. You are at a new place now, and will do things differently. 2.YOU CANNOT CONTROL IT – if your son or daughter is addicted, there is nothing you can say or do that will stop them from getting more drugs or alcohol. Pouring out the beer or flushing the pills down the drain won't help. Addiction is very strong. The best you can do is take yourself out of the situation. Limit the time you spend around the drug abuser, especially when they are using, so that your life can be more peaceful. 3.YOU CANNOT CURE IT - Just as addiction is a choice, the decision to break the addiction must come from within the person with the problem. The drug abuser will only be helped when he accepts responsibility and takes the steps to change his or her own life. Breaking an addiction is usually very difficult and requires professional help. Remember, you did the best you could do as a parent. Let go of the guilt and forgive yourself. Kinship Survey Last winter MKCA conducted a survey of caregivers across the state. Feedback provided insight into the experiences, needs, and challenges facing caregivers. Approximately 120 caregivers responded; voicing their opinions and concerns, and providing insight on the services and supports currently available in MN.
Of the 120 caregivers who responded: 10 had been caring for relatives' children less than one year, 35 one to three years, 23 four to six years, and 48 more than six years. 61 were raising one child on a full-time basis, 33 two children, 16 three children, and 6 four or more children full-time. 86 were under 60years of age, while 28 were over 60.
The latter part of the survey included open-ended questions seeking opinions regarding the services available and support needed. When asked what topics would be most beneficial to learn about, many suggested dealing with the child's parents, child development, and attachment issues. Other topics included: custody, financial support, chemical abuse, legal matters, ADHD, and educational rights. Over 30% noted that they would like to see the Regional Service Agencies (RSAs) concentrate on more support for children, 22% noted more caregiver support, and 17% greater improvements in health care. Other suggestions for RSAs included transportation, ADHD, financial and educational support.
In terms of needed support from the MKCA state office, almost half mentioned political voice for improved services for kinship families from MN Family Investment Program (MFIP). Dozens of caregivers wished there was more positive press for caregivers, more grandparent friendly regulations, health insurance, legal services, and kinship education for professionals. Other areas cited were, child care, advocacy, and mediators.
Many caregivers mentioned difficulties caring for a relative child. One person wrote, “ Does anyone really care at the government level about helping myself and others who are raising relative's kids? So far, all I have heard is ‘too bad' or ‘I'm sorry,' but no help is available for you. Until the State and Federal government see children as our future and education as an issue, I have little faith.” Various caregivers expressed interest in having certain laws changed in order to better support kinship families.
Numerous caregivers expressed thanks that they no longer feel alone; MKCA exists and is making a difference. On the whole, caregivers appear pleased with the services and support received by MKCA and the RSAs. Fall Community Forums During the spring of 2005 MKCA and the RSAs hosted 5 community forums around the state. Those who attended expressed a great deal of interest in the topics of advocacy, education law, and child protection. MKCA is offering an opportunity to attend a forum in different regions of the state this fall. Again, Jim Koppel, Executive Director of Children's Defense Fund – MN will be the keynote speaker, covering children's health care issues and advocacy. Local experts from child protection and education law will complete the agenda. Call the numbers below for information and to register.
Fall Community Forum Calendar
Sept. 27, Thurs. – Brainerd (Marcia) 800-662-5711
Oct. 10, Mon. - Willmar (MKCA) ( Sharon ) 651-917-4642 or 320-231-8490 Oct. 18, Tues. – Moorhead (Bonnie) 800-450-1385
Oct. 26, Wed. – Faribault (Megan) 800-462-1660 ____________________________ Nov. 15, Tues. – Anoka (Ellen, Linda, or Connie) 612-879-5377/5307/5351 ____________________________
Approval for 5 social work CEUs.
Families With Teens It takes a lot of skill and practice to manage the conflict we have with our teens. The most important skill is to learn is deciding if the battle is worth fighting! To decide ask yourself: 1. Is my teen's health or safety at risk? 2. Is this a fight about a deeply held value of our family's? 3. Is the behavior violating an established household rule? 4. Do the benefits to my teen outweigh the negatives?
If the answers to these four questions are no - the battle is not worth fighting! Save your time and effort for those battles that affect your teen's well being. Some other skills are:
Many parents [and caregivers] have been taught to hold in anger rather than how to express it productively and safely. Anger is not a “bad emotion” but expressing anger in ways that hurt us and others physically and verbally is not OK. How parents handle anger shows teens how to handle their anger – parents are the models. When parents and teens are angry they don't think very well and can't solve problems effectively. But, when they take time to calm down they can begin to think more clearly and can focus on resolving the conflict.
Source: Positive Parenting of Teens. University of Minnesota Extension Service. 1999. Prepared by Marie Lee-Rude, retired Regional Extension Educator, 2000. |